Monday, June 24, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Taxi! Taxi!


Dennis-Wolfe-Wolfes-Woofers“Beep! Beep!
I jumped back to avoid getting run over by a taxi and cursed the driver roundly. I even supplied certain hand gestures to get my meaning across. The taxi stopped and backed up.
“Hey, Mr. Dennis,” the driver called. “You want a ride? I won’t charge you anything.”
“Mario?” I questioned. “What are you doing driving a taxi?”
“I need some extra money so I’m driving.”
“Where did you learn to drive?” I asked as I got into the taxi.
“I learned when I used to work for you.”
“I don’t see how,” I said. “I recall telling you that you would never drive my vehicle as long as I was on Ambergris Caye.”
“That’s true,” Mario said. “But sometimes you was on the mainland.”
“Taxi! Taxi!” someone yelled.
Three drunks were standing on the corner trying to hold each other up as they flagged down the taxi.
“I got business to do,” Mario said to me as he loaded them up.
The three drunks immediately fell asleep in the back so Mario parked the taxi under a shady tree while we talked.
Finally, Mario called loudly to the drunks and said, “All right, we’re here. That’s seven dollars each.”
One drunk paid his money and left. The other one searched around until he found seven dollars and paid it. He left. The last rider got out his money and gave it to Mario.
He slapped Mario hard before getting out.
“Hey, what was that for?” Mario asked.
The drunk said, “Next time don’t drive so fast. You almost killed us.”

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