At the clinic I had to endure all kinds of humiliation while the doctor poked at me and prodded me.
Finally, he said, “All right, the only thing left is the physical exam.”
“What psychiatric test? Why do I need a psychiatric test?”
“Mr. Wolfe, you are recovering from a very serious illness. That is why we must give you a complete examination. We know how your body was affected but we need to find out if your mind was affected in any way.”
“O.K. I guess so. Send in the psychiatrist”
“Mr. Wolfe, I am doctor Hebert,” the psychiatrist said. “I’m going to ask you some simple questions and you give me the first answer that come to mind.”
“Sure.”
“What is the difference between men and women?”
“Men have short hair and women have long hair.”
“What do men do standing up that a dog does on three legs and a woman does sitting down?”
“Shake hands.”
“What do women have two of that a cow has four of?”
“That would be legs.”
“What word starts with F and ends in K and usually involves a lot of excitement?”
“Firetruck.”
“That will be all, Mr. Wolfe.”
“How did I do, Doc?” I asked. “You don’t think I’m crazy, do you?”
“Oh, no. You’re fine,” the doctor said, “but you would not believe the answers I get from some of these weirdos.”
