Monday, June 17, 2024

Doctor Love: Chill Out


Readers, email your question to [email protected]. Your letters are edited solely for grammar, spelling and length.

Dear Doctor Love,
I share an apartment with a friend and we have had many arguments about me leaving the air conditioner on at night. I forget to turn it down so it will not come on as much and she gets really upset at me. She has so many rules, like not leaving my dishes in the sink or my clothes in the living room and not bringing the guys from work over without telling her first. If I had wanted to have my mother around, I would have stayed home.
I woke up this morning and she had left a note asking me to find another place by the end of January. She said our electricity bill was really high and she couldn’t afford to pay for me to stay in a refrigerated room any more. Also, I didn’t wash up after I made a snack last night. I don’t mind, if she doesn’t want to live with me then I’ll go somewhere else.
I am looking for a place but I was wondering if every one is as weird and picky as she is about silly little things.
/s/Chill Out

Dear Chill Out,
It’s not as though living with you was a privilege and she doesn’t know how good she had it. You’ll not find many people who’ll happily pay extra simply because you are forgetful.
Part of sharing accommodations is compromising on the greater issues of the house. She communicated that you use the air conditioner unwisely and asked that you be more responsible. You communicated that you would do this. You didn’t. She made it clear that she doesn’t want to live around your dirty dishes and laundry and you ignored her.
The mutual convenience of living together was heavily weighted in your favor. You didn’t remember to control the air conditioner. A reminder on your phone or setting the timer on the unit would have done it. Instead of being adult about it you shifted the responsibility for the failure of your living arrangements to her, calling her petty and weird.
You are still too immature to share housing. Living with someone means you have a responsibility to keep agreements and take steps make it an enjoyable living arrangement for both parties. Get a room on your own and before you leave, offer to pay a higher portion of the electric bill. You might also apologize for being inconsiderate and childish and thank her for putting up with your slovenly ways. If she wants to be responsible for something with poor habits, she’d be happier with a puppy.

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