Thursday, June 20, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofers – Honest Juan


“He calls himself Honest Juan Garcia,” Mary Rodriguez, the hardworking Sun editor said to me. “While you’re on the mainland this week could you do a San Pedro Sun interview with him?”

“Sure,” I said. “What’s his story?”

“He’s worked in government offices all his life. Now he’s planning to run for area representative in the next election.”

Mary arranged for me to cover Mr. Garcia’s meeting at a village council on Tuesday. When he arrived he was ready for action.

“People call me Honest Juan,” he addressed the village council and a hundred villagers. “I’ve been working in politics all my life and I have the connections to do things and get things done. Tell me what your village needs and I’ll get it for you.”

“What we need most is an honest politician,” the council chairman said. “We are tired of politicians promising things that they can’t deliver.”

“Sir, you have found your man,” Juan said. “I’ll fix any problems your village has. Just name them.”

“We only have two big problems. The first one is that we have a clinic but we don’t have a doctor. The second is that. . . .”

“Hold it right there,” Juan interrupted.

He pulled out his cell phone and punched in some numbers. He walked outside, talking the whole time, then he came back in and took his seat.

“The problem is solved,” he said. “A doctor will be sent over on Monday. What’s the second problem?”

The chairman said, “The second problem is that there’s no cell phone reception anywhere in this village.”

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