Thursday, June 20, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Overheard


“Amanda, do you think it’s wrong to have sex before marriage?”
“It certainly was for me,” Amanda said.
“Oh, that’s right,” her friend said. “I keep forgetting that you used to be married. Why do you think it was wrong for you to have sex before marriage?”
“Because it made us late for the ceremony.”
As I sat having my morning coffee on the deck of the Holiday Hotel, I couldn’t help overhearing this conversation. The two young tourist ladies were soon joined by another friend.
“Good morning, Holly,” Amanda said. “You don’t look to be in very good shape.”
“I’m not,” Holly said. “I’m not sure what time I got back to my room last night.”
Amanda said, “When we left you in the bar you were dancing like crazy and slamming tequila shots with some guy named Gary.”
“You and Kirsten can handle alcohol a lot better than I can. I’ve come to the conclusion that tequila shots are bad for my legs.”
“How can tequila be bad for your legs?” Kirsten asked. “Does it make you fall down?”
“No, it makes them fall open. I’m seriously thinking of going to a psychiatrist or at least get some kind of counselling.”
“Why? You seem perfectly sane to me,” Amanda said.
“Every time I get to know a really handsome guy like Gary, we end up in bed together.”
“What? That makes you feel crazy or something?”
“No. I always feel so guilty and depressed the next day.”
“Oh, I see,” Amanda said. “You want a psychiatrist to help strengthen your will power?”
“Not at all,” Kirsten said. “I want him to help me so I don’t feel guilty.”

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