Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Marriage Advice


Mario and I were sitting on the deck at the Holiday Hotel drinking our coffee and looking forward to a day of doing nothing.
“Hey, Mario! Hey, Mr. Dennis. You mind if I join you?”
It was Moses, who works up the coast as a caretaker.
“Pull up a chair Moses,” Mario said. “Hey, I hear you getting married. Is that true?”
Moses said, “I been going with Tysha for three years and now she wants to get married so I guess we gonna get married. That’s what she’s telling everybody.”
“Moses, you don’t sound too sure about this,” I said. “Are you really ready for marriage?”
“I got a lot of questions about it,” he said.
“Well, you sure are in the right place,” Mario told him. “I been married enough times to tell you anything you need to know.”
“How many times you been married?”
“Once,” Mario said. “But it’s to Consuela so that’s like being married ten times. What do you need to know?”
“Vernon says getting married changes your relationship if you don’t talk to each other a lot and listen to what each other has to say. Is that true?”
“Here’s how it works,” Mario told him. “When we first got married I did the talking and Consuela did the listening.”
“Ain’t that the way it’s supposed to be?” Moses asked.
“Yeah, but after a few months she was doing all the talking and I was doing the listening.”
“How is it now?”
Mario said, “We both do the talking and the neighbors do the listening.”

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