Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Mail Order Bride


Dennis-Wolfe-Wolfes-Woofers“Mr. Dennis, come have some beers with us,” Luis called to me.
I had just walked out onto the deck at the Holiday Hotel.
I went to the table where he sat with Pedrito and said, “I think I’ll stick with my coffee this morning but I will join you. How are you guys today?”
“Ooh, pretty rough, boss,” Pedrito said. “We been drinking all night. I got so drunk that I drank myself sober.”
“Hey, Pedro,” Luis said. “Check this out.”
Two ladies at the next table had paid their bill and left a couple of Victoria’s Secret catalogs on the table. Luis handed one to Pedrito and they leafed through them.
“Man, look at this,” Luis said. “I heard about them mail order brides that you can send away for. That must be what this catalog is.”
“Look how cheap they are,” Pedrito said. “This one here is only wearing a bra and some panties. The book says $23.99 for the set.”
“Good-looking women, too,” Luis said. “I’m going to send away for this one. $34.59.”
When I realized they were serious I decided not to say anything to spoil their dreams.
This morning I met Pedro and Luis again when I walked out on the deck with my coffee. It looked like they were still fighting the same hangovers with beer.
“Hey, Mr. Dennis,” Luis said, as I sat down. “How are you today?”
“I’m doing good,” I told him. “I’m curious about something. A few weeks ago you and Pedrito were ordering women from a catalog. How did that work out for you?”
“It’s working out great,” he said.
“What?!” I exclaimed. “Are you telling me you got a woman though the mail?”
“Not yet, boss,” he said, “but her clothes got here yesterday.”

Read more


Please help support Local Journalism in Belize

For the first time in the history of the island's community newspaper, The San Pedro Sun is appealing to their thousands of readers to help support the paper during the COVID-19 pandemic. Since 1991 we have tirelessly provided vital local and national news. Now, more than ever, our community depends on us for trustworthy reporting, but our hard work comes with a cost. We need your support to keep delivering the news you rely on each and every day. Every reader contribution, however big or small, is so valuable. Please support us by making a contribution.

Local News