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Dear Doctor Love,
A friend and I were at a beach bar, and a girl walked by wearing a bikini. We mentioned a few of her finer assets and made a joke about what we’d do if her husband wasn’t so big. Just harmless guy talk. The women at the next table started going on about degrading women and how guys are just basically pigs.
If we aren’t supposed to look, why do they dress that way? Men are turned on by hot women, and if she’s dressed for sex, we’re going to think about sex.
Women need to decide what they want. If they’re not looking for attention, they need to put some clothes on.
/s/Boys will be boys
Dear Boys,
Do you draw the line at dragging them by the hair back to the man-cave?
It’s normal to admire the human body, humans are sexual creatures, and we are wired to look for signs from the opposite sex. The problem arises when men stupidly assume every sign is for them.
Guys routinely assume that a girl who is provocatively dressed is open to sexually explicit comments and passes. When she shuts them down, they blame her for their own lack of self-control. The idea that women should expect sexual advances or cover-up is immature and ignorant. In saying it, you admit that by dressing in a way that arouses you, she causes you to lose control.
Believe it or not, the brain is fully capable of processing proper sexual responses—even yours. If you really want to learn why your type of thinking needs to change, do some serious research. Try keywords like provocative clothing, objectification, and de-humanization.
Or you could try doing a field test. The next time, instead of just commenting to your friend, walk up to her and say it. The big guy with her will let you know if discussing a females’ body like a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken is just harmless guy talk.
