Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.
Dear Doctor Love,
I have been friends with a girl since before high school. She has had the same boyfriend for five years now. About once a year they have a fight and split up with each other. She goes out and finds a new boyfriend and a whole set of new girlfriends associated with him. She dumps the rest of us during this time and of course the new relationship doesn’t last. After a few months she and her guy get back together and she expects everything to be the same with us. I have talked to her about it. She always says she understands but then it happens again. This has happened four times in the last five years. Now it is happening again. What should I do?
/s/ Tired Of This
Dear Tired,
She is not going to change and you are wasting your time if you expect her to. Instead, make some new friends so you will have a broader base of people to associate with. When she turns up don’t be nasty but don’t be too welcoming. Don’t sit and listen to her tales of woe about her problems with her boyfriend. Change the subject instead. When she comes back don’t be too available to her. Make her fit into your schedule instead of you having to fit into hers.
Dear Doctor Love,
I met a guy from the mainland and before I knew what was happening I fell head over toes for him. We took turns going back and forth from the island to the mainland. When we weren’t together we were on the phone or on Facebook all of the time. There were some things that bothered me and while I was angry I ended it. He was devastated. Within two weeks I knew I had made a big mistake and tried to turn it around. He said we should wait and give it some time. I recently saw a message on his Facebook page from a woman thanking him for a beautiful weekend. Now I am the one devastated. What can I do?
/s/ Foolish Girl
Dear Foolish,
Not everyone is going to take it when you kick them in the teeth for stupid reasons as it makes it difficult for them to trust you. This man has obviously moved on. Offer him one more opportunity to trust you. If he accepts that, it will be wonderful. If not, it means he sees nothing but risk in starting over. If so, move on.
