Dear Doctor Love,
I am 52 years old and I have been married for 14 years. Because of his alcoholism he is impotent so we have not had relations for over four years. When we even try he gets angry and frustrated and takes it out on me with verbal abuse. He has not been able to hold a job for years now so I am the breadwinner in the house. I come home from work and he spends his time putting me down and trying to make me feel worthless. I cry every night. What can I do?
/s/ Nervous Wreck
Dear Nervous,
If you still love him do all you can to get him some professional help or at least into Alcoholics Anonymous. It probably will not happen because alcoholics usually refuse to admit that they are alcoholic. When you get to this point you have to decide what you want to be doing in a few more years. You are still young enough to find someone who will appreciate you and love you for what you are. You already have the purse strings so you can rent an apartment. Get some legal advice and get your life on a proper course.
Dear Doctor Love,
My fiancé and I live together. His mother thinks she can come over anytime she pleases without calling or even knocking on the door. She does this even when her son is not there. I asked her not to do that and she got very rude. When I told my boyfriend she was very angry about it. The next time she invited herself over when he was not there she said I told him to cause trouble in the family. Once again she was extremely rude. I do not want to cause trouble in the family. I just want a little bit of respect and privacy. What can I do?
/s/ Furious
Dear Furious,
Sit down with your fiancé and decide how much you will take from her in the name of keeping peace in the family. Then her son is going to have to talk to her about the situation. He must not be mean about it but it is up to him to let her know that he sides with you on this. He should invite the mom and dad to dinner so it seems special to them and she won’t be able to push you around.
She is not going to like the new rules but you should stick by them.
