Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.
Dear Doctor Love,
My marriage has had some hard times. I have been with my husband for eight years and we have been married for seven. We got along great while we were living together. Once we were married about a year the troubles began. He had several women that he was still contacting and he was still going out with his friends to the bars two or three times a week. I thought all of these things would stop once we got married. They have not got any worse but they have not got any better either. I have overlooked the going out with his friends but we have fought a lot over texts and phone calls he gets. He never admits anything unless he is caught red-handed. When he gets caught he promises that it will never happen again but it always does.
I have noticed that in a lot of your advice you tell people to drop the person they are having trouble with and move on. I don’t know when it is time to move on. I feel like I have tried as much as I could and it has not worked. What else can I do? When do I say it is time to move on?
/s/ Too Sad
Dear Sad,
First, you are to be commended for putting in the effort to try to save your marriage. Marriage however, is a team effort. Both parties must have the same goals and both parties must try. It would be nice to tell you to keep trying and everything will work out. The problem with this is that he has already shown a pattern that he will probably never break. Without effort on his part nothing will change.
It is time to consider your own future.
Dear Doctor Love,
My new neighbor is much friendlier than I like my neighbors to be. She drops in at unexpected times just to find out how things are going. She tells me about her life and seems to expect me to do the same. I don’t mind saying hello to her but I really like being by myself without visits every day. What can I do?
/s/ Comfortably Alone
Dear Alone,
When she knocks go to the door and say hello without inviting her in. Be nice and tell her everything is going great but make up an “I’m busy” excuse like you’re getting ready for a shower. If you do this long enough she is bound to catch on.
