Readers, please send your letters. They can be e-mails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.
Dear Doctor Love,
I dated one girl for eight years. We started out as childhood sweethearts when I was fifteen and she was fourteen. We remained committed to each other even after high school and while we were at different universities we got engaged. When I was a senior I ended the relationship. I did it in the stupidest way possible and for the most ignorant of all reasons. She went to a party one weekend while I was making a surprise visit to her school. When I arrived and discovered that she was not there I was enraged with jealousy. I turned around and drove straight back home and that week I did not call her as I usually did.
She tried to contact me every day. I did not answer the phone and when my roommate answered I told him to tell her that I was not home. Finally, he got tired of this and when the phone rang he answered and it was her. He handed the phone over and just said the call was for me. Instead of giving her a chance to explain anything I cut her off by telling her that I was talking to her on the phone for the last time. I said I never wanted to hear her voice again.
Of course, when I hung up the phone I was filled with remorse but I was too proud to call her back and apologize. Instead I waited for her to call me again. She never did. A month later I graduated and took a job hundreds of miles away. When I came back two years later, I found out she was married and had a child.
Yesterday, eight years later, I ran across her page on Facebook. She is still married and now has another child. I still feel guilty about the way I treated her. Do you think I should contact her by Facebook and give her my apologies while I have the chance?
/s/ Dumb As A Rock
Dear Dumb,
Of course, not! You don’t want to apologize for her sake. Instead, it is for your own sake. You are the one feeling guilty here, not her. She has a new life and chances are good that she never even thinks of you.
Let sleeping dogs lie. You stay out of her life and leave her alone. She has already made a life for herself without you. Give her the courtesy of doing the same for yourself.