Dear Doctor Love,
I have been with my guy for eight months and I think that this is probably the right one for me. My family likes him a lot and we have already talked a lot about the future and what it would be like if we got married. We won’t get married right away because I want to finish 6th form.
Last week he said he had a surprise for me. He took off his shirt and showed me a brand new tattoo with my name on it. He said he did it for me. Now, he wants me to get a tattoo with his name on it and it could be a real small one. He says it will be like we are married.
I don’t really like tattoos very much and I think it would hurt a lot to get one. Besides, my mom and dad would be very angry if I got one. How can I tell him that I don’t want a tattoo without hurting his feelings? He’s gone to a lot of trouble for me and it seems like I should do something.
/s/ Unsigned
Dear Unsigned,
What makes you think he got the tattoo for you? He got the tattoo in order to maneuver you into doing something for him. That something is committing yourself to him by having his name tattooed on your body. Don’t do it.
Marriage is a commitment for life. So is a tattoo. Unlike a marriage, you can’t divorce a tattoo. It’s going to be there until you die unless you go through some truly painful tattoo removal procedure. If you think getting a tattoo is probably painful, wait until you see what it takes to remove one.
Why would you get a tattoo removed? Probably because you broke up with someone who was trying to manipulate you into doing something; because if he manipulates you with something like this, he is bound to try it with other things, too.
If you want to do something for him, a nice hug and a thank you should take care of it. If he insists, tell him to get lost.